The Only Time
by Atheniandream
Summary: Valentine's Day Special Part One: There are four times she walks down the aisle, the fates of each intertwined with the same initial outcome.


**The Only Time. 1/1**

_A Valentine's Day Fic _

By Atheniandream

* * *

There are four times she walks down the aisle, the fates of each intertwined with the same initial outcome.

* * *

The first time, her palms are sweating, her chest is pounding against the bones of her corset and her eyes are searching, far out into the crowd.

_He's not there_... and it plagues on her.

She feels the dull form of her fiancé to her left, the Priest in front of her and the pin dropped attention of the congregation all staring back at her.

_Possibly wondering why she's staring back at them and not at her husband to be._

Is rises in her then, the swell of a bolt, like a flash of nerves hitting her square in the gut.

"**_I can't do this_**. .." She mumbles to her side, grasping the sleeve of her fiancé, who looks at her, bewildered

"What?" He asks, awestruck.

She backs away, catching the eyes of her parents and Rachel and a wide eyed Louis as she darts down the aisle towards the main doors, yanking them open in flurries of chiffon as the wind catches in her veil and the eruption of outcries are clipped by the doors shutting behind her.

He's waiting outside. _No, leaning..._

_The Bastard._

"Took you long enough," He remarks, pushing off the wall to standing, a self satisfied smirk painted on his face.

She has no words for him, huffing initially, until it occurs that there may be a stampede following. "Get me out of here?" She asks.

"Your chariot awaits," He grins, gesturing to the car.

_It takes her ten seconds before she kisses him in the car, a muddle of chiffon and Tom Ford. _

* * *

The second time, Rachel hears a knock on the hotel door, flustering as she opens it in a rush.

"Harvey?" She remarks, her gaze looking to her left, training to hear the other occupant in the room whose attention must have peaked at the name.

"Rachel...could you give us a sec?" He asks, glancing past her shoulder.

"You have ten minutes," She says, looking back towards the bride to be before walking out into the hall.

He shuts the door quietly, watching as she glares at him through the vanity mirror.

"You look stunning." He calls to her.

"What do you want Harvey?" She glares into the mirror at him, brush in hand.

"Don't do this." He says, his voice low.

She swings around on the chair, and he's hit with the full force of her dressed for the occasion, hair flowing down one side of her face, her skin pale and shimmering against the ivory of her dress and those large eyes glaring at him even more so without the reflection protecting him.

"Really? That's all you have?" She remarks, huffing as she gestures sharply at her rather poignant attire.

"Come away with me." He says, his features narrowing as he all but pouts at her.

"I have one hundred and fifty guests, and a fiancé waiting in a church for me, right now." She says, her words sharpened by his presence.

"I'll get Louis to clear them out in five." He says, playing on a possible poker face.

She laughs then, a colourful sputter as she grins tiredly, then returns slowly to her game face.

"I spent ten thousand dollars on a dress, Harvey." She challenges, her words icy cool.

"You don't wanna go. And I won't let you...**_go_**." He says then, taking a step forward.

Her breath catches then, a lump rising in her throat as she takes in every one of his words.

He takes another step forward, her name rolling off of his tongue with a reverence. "Donna."

She smiles then, taking a moment to stand. "That's all you had to say."

"Your name?" He remarks, his face dropping.

She nods, smiling all the way to her eyes. "You have at least…and I've counted…eight-six ways that you say my name. That's the Eight-seventh."

"You're a beautifully strange woman. You know that?" He says, the swallowing her victory.

"Could you undo this dress… it's literally cutting off the circulation to my legs." She asks, turning her back to him.

_With every tug and clasp undone she smiles just a little more._

* * *

The third time, he's early.

And he's sure that he's gambling their entire lives away, but he doesn't care any more.

He knocks on the door, regardless of the hour he knows that she'll be up, and alone.

When she opens the door he's pulled back to twelve years ago. She's pink and orange and pale peach all over again. Just without the bangs...

"You've gotta be kidding me." She says, eyes a violent bullish brown.

_Her omniscience clearly hasn't lessened, either._

"Hey." He says, quietly.

"What?" She asks, gruffly. For a moment he reminds her of himself.

Brash. Firm. _Unyielding._

"Can I come in?" He asks, his hands sinking into his pockets.

"Sure," She says, detached, letting the door open with a crack and a screech as he shuts it behind them both.

She stands, her hands folded across herself whilst he gathers everything he has inside of him.

The time between when his mouth opens and the sound comes out feels like an eternity for them both.

_They had a fight._ He's aware of that._ A Fight about her and them and a wedding that wasn't his._ The memory of them both shouting for no obvious reason still rings in his mind.

"I...I know I've been..selfish." He says.

"Really?" She counters sharply, bouncing on her heels.

"Haven't I?"

"Harvey….you've always been selfish."

"Yeah." He says, swallowing her intention to hurt him. He knows that she's hurting too. "And I know… I have no right to be here."

"Yes." She says, again, clipped.

"You're not gonna give me any rope, are you?" He sputters, all but laughing.

"No."

The answer warms his features. He respects her for her determination, even when he's trying to break through it. Somehow it calms him.

"You know I'm in I love you, right?" He says, almost ironically.

_It's a hail mary_, in such situations.

_And it's just enough._

"No you don't." She says, defiant.

"Yes. I do." He replies, the challenge in his eyes. It takes such an assault to level a woman such as her. And he's been practising… "I always have. You just never listen to me when it's really important." he says, admonishing her all with a shit eating grin on his face.

It's ballsy. A risk, even for him. The only thing keeping level ground are the sharp lines in his veneered Tom Ford suit.

She sighs, smiling slightly, her head clouding a little in the thought. "Harvey, I,"

He takes his chance then, closing in the gap. He pauses, hand on her cheek and waist, watching as she barely reacts to the distinct contact.

_For a moment, she looks like a lost teenager in a world of unknowns._

He kisses every single one of them away,

**She doesn't make it to the aisle that time... A technicality lost in time.**

* * *

The Fourth time, she makes an ass out herself.

It's the first time he's considered that he might get fired.

"I can't..." She whispers beside her groom, the thready sound sticking in her throat.

Eyes flicker up and out to the Priest.

"What's wrong my Dear?" The older man asks her, looking back with tired eyes.

"I uh…" She finds herself looking back, out into the crowd, until her eyes meet his. Fifth row from the left. She can't read his expression, and all at once she feels sick and panicked, her eyes flicking back to the Priest.

"Donna, What's wrong?" Her groom asks her, touching her wrist lightly.

She all but jumps out of her skin.

"Well, my dear? What's wrong?" The Priest asks again.

"Donna." She hears behind her. She sighs then, a light smile finding her features as she turns around to see him..._the guy_...standing. Their eyes meet for a moment longer than appropriate. She swears her heart doesn't beat once during that exchange.

"You, Sir, in the back, is that an objection?" The Priest calls to Harvey.

Beside him, Mike holds his head in his hands, shielding the smile that's forming in favour of seeming appalled. It's a bold choice.

"Yes." Harvey says, swallowing the hundreds of people. "Donna...you don't wanna do this." He says, eyes focused solely on her.

"And what reason do you give, Sir?" Says the Priest.

He looks to Donna, head to toe in Vera Wang and a lost expression on her face. "She's in love with somebody else." He says.

She feels a tightness in her chest, her wide eyes staring at his even wider. He's poker faced, even then. _He's unlike any other man..._

"Is this true, Donna?" The Priest asks. She feels the overwhelming stare from so many directions.

"I…" She starts, lost in thought and panic and adrenaline. She's suddenly aware of the man stood beside her, her eyes flicking up to match his.

He's just as confused, but somehow not quite knitting everything together.

"I'm sorry, Adam. But you're going to thank me one day for not going through with this." She says abruptly, before hurriedly making her way down the aisle, her dress gathered in her hands. She almost hears Mike stifle a strangled laugh at her pace. She notices Jessica with a shit eating grin on her face. She always did have an ironic sense of humour.

When she opens the doors, a gust of wind takes claim of her veil as she gasps, watching it move down the block, curling and drifting away from her. _The sense of deja'vu resonates into the air._

The doors open just as quickly, Harvey parading down the steps, and before she can even think to say anything he's tugging her hand and pulling her with him towards a sleek black car.

"Harvey?" She calls after both of their hurried forms.

"Get in. Unless you want me to get punched in the face?" He challenges, his features incredibly dry.

She just laughs. The moment seems too funny to consider. _Harvey getting beaten the crap out of…_

He gestures then, and she looks back to see the church doors opening one more, and ups their collective pace.

"Really? The Alter?" She says as she crams herself into the car, watching him slide in on the other side, as Ray abruptly pulls away.

"You were screaming for an out," He says, rolling his eyes at her, as he tries to temper the many layers of skirt coming at him.

"Thank you, Harvey." She says, the words weighted under unsure eyes.

"It's okay." He says, nodding at her, before looking out to the moving side walk. "You know," He says in a flash. "I do...love you."

"Harvey,"

"_I do._ And..._you_ do." He says.

"Harvey. Now is not the time for declarations."

"Bullshit. It's about time we talked about this. I don't want you marrying somebody else. Again." He says pointedly.

When she meets his eyes it feels like he's staring down into her.

"Well. Rest assured, I just spent Twenty Thousand Dollars on this dress. I won't be buying another…" She remarks, fighting with the skirt once more. She notices him looking at her still. "Harvey, What?"

"Do you...want to get married?" He asks, looking intently at her.

_His looks says it all._ She feels like they're thirty again and he's embracing his youthful exuberance.

"Harvey...you're not-"

"Ray could be our witness."

"Isn't that going to look weird, I go into a church with one guy, and come out of city hall with another? Not to mention-"

"It's us, Donna. We never were conventional." He says, cutting her off.

"Oh my God. You're considering this." She says, her face falling.

"Yes. I am."

"We've not had sex in ten years Harvey, let alone a relationship to test if that would even work!"

"And yet I'd bet my life on it, that it would." He says, his face lit up like Vegas._ There's not even a contingency plan in his thought._

She feels a rise of adrenaline flood her veins.

"I look like a meringue." She remarks.

"I didn't shave this morning." He says, rubbing his chin.

"I could tell." She smiles, looking at the dull shadow on his face.

"Ray." Harvey calls to the front of the car. "We need to stop off at my apartment first." He says, when a thought occurs to him. "Wait. Where's your documentation?"

He watches as she smirks, delving her hand under skirt, hearing a slight zipping sound as she struggles with the fabric, and pulls out a small package in a zip-locked bag with a look of victory.

"You're amazing." He says, chuckling.

"City Hall we come." Ray says to himself, nodding to Harvey as a smile lights his features.

* * *

_**Wherever you are you're near me**  
**You dare me to be untrue**  
**Funny, each time I fall in love**  
**It's always you** - 'It's Always You' By Chet Baker. _

* * *

_The Fourth Time_, was the last time.

And weirdly, she wouldn't have had it any other way.

_He was right._ They never were conventional. That was the beauty of them all along.

He's been holding her hand since they walked up the steps of City Hall, and now they're starting to sweat. She yanks her hand free, aware that she has no veil, that she's been rather clammy since the Church.

"What's wrong?" He says, halting his steps to frown at her.

"Nothing. I'm just…"

"Don't 'Runaway Bride' on me…" He warns, taking her hand once again. It draws her closer to him. "Hey," He says, tugging on her hand once more. "You look beautiful."

"I'm dressed for somebody else." She says, her features sharpening at him.

"That's why I'm going to rip it off of you later."

She giggles then, in that way that he cherishes, when she's deviously excited about the potential of such an action.

* * *

Through the entire ceremony she's shaking, from head to toe. She's not sure how she can carry herself with such a confident poise in her entire life, and then be reduced to mush at the thought of getting married, to anyone for that matter, let alone Harvey.

Every time her breath hitches, or she swallows a lump in her throat his hand twitches in hers. Its reassuring like she never expected it to be. She daren't look at him, just in case either of them started laughing. _They do that, sometimes._

"By the power invested in thee, by the state of New York, I now pronounce you, Husband and Wife. You may kiss the bride." The woman tells him.

He turns to her then,_ that look_ on his face. She drowns out the calculation of just how many days it's been since he last kissed her.

"May I?" He asks.

"You may," She remarks, smiling slightly. He notices the reservations on her face, the anticipation.

He pauses just for a second, like he's a horse just out of the gate, watching her. When he finally pulls her to him by the waist, an abrupt motion, she's the one kissing him.

_Really_, kissing him.

He actually blushes. In front of Ray and a Photographer, no less.

She disconnects from him, sighing slightly as she wipes a little lipstick off of the corner of his lip.

"Well, Mrs Specter. Shall we?" He says, offering his arm.

"If you think I'm losing my name then you are thoroughly mistaken." She chides, immediately scowling at the notion.

"Paulsen-Specter?" He offers.

"Better." She says, letting him lead her out of the Registry office.

* * *

_Walking out of City Hall married to your Boss is a strange notion_. Especially when Harvey's looking so pleased with himself.

Ray's walked ahead, bringing the car around as they meet the side walk, him opening the door for her.

She finds it all a little strange but at the same time fitting.

"Okay… where to." She says, noticing Ray glance at them both through the rear view mirror.

"I want take you away." He says.

"Haven't you already done that?"

"Abroad. But," He says, frowning a little at his phone as it vibrates in his hand. "We have a stop off." He says, calling out the address to Ray. She notices him contain a small smile.

She frowns, but says nothing, caught between her husband and a surprise. When they rock up to the address about fifteen minutes later, she's not stopped touching him since then and he has at least ten smudges of lipstick on his cheek.

_It's a restaurant_, she notes.

"I'm not going in there dressed like this," She says.

Her stubbornness hits him like a wall.

"Donna," He says, giving her a look before opening his side, shutting the door and opening her side all in one flash of a motion.

She notices that he's giving her that look again, and takes his hand, once again struggling out of the car and cursing Vera Wang in one fail swoop.

He leads her to the Restaurant.

_Locanda Verde._

She remembers that she's been here before. Lovely Italian Food.

"Rachel?" She questions, looking to him.

"I think so." He says, leading her in.

They are met with an immediate eruption of hugs and greetings.

Mike

Rachel

Jessica

Louis

Her Mother,

Father,

Sister

And her Grandma Annie...

It's overwhelming to say the least. Harvey's tapping Mike's shoulder in silent thank you, She's hugging her Mother, who's gently scolding her, whilst looking reverently at her father, whose sat by Jessica, both sipping wine casually. Her sister and Grandmother watch on with smiling faces, as Louis tries to be included, Sheila Sazs holding him marginally back from the crowd. _Another wise woman..._

Rachel immediately storms the crowd, a box in hand, her Maid of Honor Dress still on. "Hey! This is for you… I assumed that you'd need something else." She says with a warm, glowing smile.

"You are the Best Maid of Honor **ever**." Donna sighs, immediately grateful.

"Do you like the venue? I could have gone more up market, but there were going to be so many of us, and I thought you wouldn't want to walk into **Jean Georges** in a Wedding dress." She says, worrying in her trademark Rachel tone.

"You would be right about that! Thank you...Rachel. Really, _thank you_." She says, hugging her friend. "I'm going to change," She says, her eyes finding Harvey's for a second, as he nods slightly in return.

He takes the opportunity to find both of her parents. "Ms Paulsen? Could I just...have a moment of your time, with...Mr Paulsen?"

The little blonde haired woman cocks her hip, chuckling to herself. "Harvey; you just did us a favour."

"I just married your daughter." He points out, his face a mixture of confusion and blunt remarks.

"We know. And we're grateful, that she has so many people who care about her. Just, look after her. Otherwise _she'll_ kick your ass, not us." She says with a warm smile, squeezing his Tom Ford laden shoulder.

"Oh, I know that," He says, a warm smile lighting his features.

"And make sure you both come for Christmas."

"I'll talk to her about that." He says, starting to walk away.

"And," She says again, halting his steps.

He contains the huff he has in favour of a good impression, walking back to her.

"Welcome to the family, Harvey." She says pulling him into a hug. "And call me Celia."

"Thank you, Celia." He replies, smiling softly. When he finally turns back to the rest of the crowd, Mike is grinning at him proudly. Like _he's_ the kid… He rolls his eyes, but can't help the smile forming afterwards as Mike nods back at him.

* * *

_Donna is in shock. _

The dress is perfect, coppery and form fitting with just the right amount of elegance. When she opens the stall door, Rachel gasps as only Rachel can do…

"You look so great." She says, her brows knitting together in envy.

"How did you get this?" She asks, popping a hip as she looks in the mirror.

"I called _that number_. Said it was for Donna and '_an urgent request_'." Rachel says, looking at her with a raised eyebrow. Devious, just like her.

"You didn't." Donna remarks, eyes wide.

"I did. You know what else?" Rachel offers.

"What?"

"**_I got given that number too_**…"

"Oh my god! Congratulations!" Donna says, mouth and eyes wide, as she grabs her friend, hugging her for all she's worth.

_Of all the things to hug each other over..._

"So..you're...married. To Harvey." Rachel says, the excitement lighting her features.

"Apparently." She says, taking a large breath to calm herself at the thought.

"Not that I'm not happy for you, but isn't it weird that you married someone you've never-"

"Who says we never-"

"Oh my God."

"Always test the merchandise, Rachel."

"When?" She asks, her chin darting out.

"Uh…" She pauses, the tally running in her head. "Twelve...ish years ago?"

"Really? You lied!" She accuses, a whine of disappointment on her lips.

"I did."

"But how do you know that the...will still be-"

"Oh, it will be." She grins, walking past her awestruck friend.

* * *

It's odd, but she can't stop touching him. She's pretty sure she's gone insane in the last seven hours. And what's worse is every time she does, whether it's the stroke of a sleeve, or the nape of his neck, he just...smiles back at her, his gaze lingering for a moment. Every now and then his hand will rest on her thigh, and then she'll look at him accidentally, clearly struggling with the rules of the past and he'll chuckle and squeeze her knee, which accidentally turns her on in front of her Grammie, who scowls over the table at her, aware of exactly what's going on.

Again, he just grins at her. Cat-like. Fully aware of his actions.

Her attention is caught by Mike, who chinks a glass, silencing the large table. He's about to stand, when Jessica puts a hand on his arm, standing in place of him.

"I'm sure Mike has a great toast in mind. However. I have known these two people the longest, and I feel it's my obligation to say a few things. Harvey has always had my attention," She pauses then, looking to Louis. "Sometimes to the detriment other people under my tutelage." She nods to him, watching him pass it off with a happy acceptance she then continues. "So, when I sent Harvey off to the District Attorney's office, I never expected that he would come back, demanding that he have his own assistant," She says, pausing when an eruption of laughter ensues the table. "And when I pointed out, that Associates don't get their own assistants, he told me: It wasn't about the Associate, it was about the assistant. And he said, quote: 'I'm not coming here without her." And when I threatened to take her pay out of his, he said and I quote: 'As long as she never knows'." She pauses, knowing exactly what she's let slip, revelling in it with a wide smile.

A chuckle and awe sound erupt around the table. Donna's met with loads of eyes all staring at Harvey in almost adoration.

He feels a heavy slap to his chest. "What was that for?" He says, mock-frowning as he looks at her.

"You've been 'paying my wage' this entire time and you didn't tell me?" She says, her voice uppity.

The table once again chuckles at her dramatic outburst.

"I was trying to avoid _this_," He says, swinging a look towards Mike, who grins, shaking his head at the pair.

"Mr and Mrs Specter, I've not finished." Jessica interrupts, as more laughter and half-heckles erupt around the table.

_That silences them both, as two pairs of eyes roll._

"I think that _that_ conversation speaks volumes for who they were back then, and who they still are. They've always put work first. They sacrificed a hell of a lot, including each other. And I think it's time that they finally…_enjoy themselves_. And in the interest of upholding feminism, I won't say 'Mr and Mrs Specter' but instead: To Harvey _and_ Donna."

"To Harvey and Donna." All cheer, as the collective clinking of glasses ripples around the room.

She kisses his cheek then, more to avoid going over the top in front of a table of their colleagues, friends and her family.

"That wasn't a kiss," Mike chimes in pure Panto fashion.

"Shut up Mike." They both throw at him in Unison, looking at one another with mirth as another laugh empties out into the room.

* * *

Four hours later, and Harvey is warming into being a married man, as the adrenaline settles and the scotch warms his nerves. He pulls her to him, his nose finding her vibrant wavy hair.

"Harvey, my parents are watching you." She warns him gently.

"You're forty. You can handle it." He plays, his arm resting around the chair.

She thumps lightly at his chest then, suppressing the challenge in her eyes with a grin. "_You're_ forty."

"Weak defence, counsellor." He says, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I forgot to mention, you look very hot in that. And as sad as I am that I won't get to tear that wedding dress off of you..."

"Blame Rachel,"

"She get that number?"

"Yep." She says, looking out nonchalantly as she leans over him, picking up his tumbler of Macallan, making the point of taking a sip.

_He doesn't give a shit. Everything of his has always been hers anyway..._

"She's a keeper." He says.

"She's an angel." She corrects.

"Mike certainly thinks so," He remarks, nodding towards Mike and Rachel, both talking hand-in-hand with Louis and Sheila.

"Why is Sheila here?" She whispers into his cheek.

"I don't know." He muses, smiling slightly. "So. We got married today."

"I know. And I don't have a ring." She says, a disappointed note in her voice.

"What do you think we're doing tomorrow?"

"I thought you said you were taking me away?"

"Can't a man do two things at once? Hows Paris?" He breathes, playing with her hair.

She softens into him then, his head leaning partly on her shoulder.

"You're starting off so well in the husband department,"

"Well, I have some catching up to do." He says, kissing her temple.

* * *

There are four moments in time, where Donna walks down the aisle, four alternatives merged into one, and only one outcome.

A Fifth Time,

_The Only Time._

* * *

_We've come so far, it feels so real._  
_All this time, that we've waited for it._  
_And who we are, and where we're going to._  
_All this time, preparing for it. - 'Sort of Revolution' By FINK. _

* * *

**Happy V Day everybody! Hope you have a lovely one... XxX**


End file.
